7 things that my 40 year old self would tell my 30 year old self

Updated: Sep 3, 2019

I often think about what my future self would tell my current self.

Today on the metro on the way back home, I started jotting these down.

Some ideas change as the days, weeks, months, years go by.

Some ideas still stay the same, and I would keep on telling myself (from the future me) the same thing. Maybe those are the things that I still have to work on.


So here goes...



1. Don't let your emotions get in the way.


Emotions are not real.

You cannot touch it, you cannot see it.

Emotions that you attach to the very same event can change depending on your mood, your thought process, the person you're dealing with, your background, the time of the day or year, or other factors.


The anger that you're feeling is not real. It will go away. It doesn't even have to be there if you don't allow it, or if you process the situation in a different way.

The sadness that you're experiencing is not real. You can snap out of it by training to do so. I am not saying that it is easy. It is difficult, but it is trainable, and possible.


I have met people that can be expressing an emotion in full spectrum, then the very next moment, express another. I am not talking about acting here. Also, I am not talking about people that are out of control with their emotions (e.g. bi-polar). I am talking about those who are so in control of their emotions that if they chose to, they can be expressing anger one moment, then change right into happiness the very next moment.

So if it can be controlled, therefore, can be changed at your will, then the emotion that you're experiencing is not real. It is what you make it to be.


So my first and foremost advice that I would give to my current being (30 year old) from an older self is to not put so much importance to my emotions.


It is important to observe, however.

Because emotions are there to teach you something about yourself, and help you grow.


But don't lock yourself in that prison of emotions.

Get yourself out of the mental prison that tells you that emotions are set in stone, they are you, you can't change them, they control you, they are important, they are real, so on and so forth. It's a lie.

Don't let your emotions get in the way of your growth, happiness, expansion, and freedom.




2. Don't stress about anything


Everything will be ok. Everything will unfold beautifully.

Higher power knows best what you need and want better than you do.

But don't use that as an excuse to sit back and do nothing.

Just keep doing your best, without worrying about the unpredictable future.

Everything has its own time and place.

Be patient.

And ask and re-ask, evaluate and re-evaluate why you do what you do.


Which leads me to the next point...



3. Live... NOW


I sometimes find myself very future-focused that I forget to enjoy the present, which is the most real thing out of all things. Enjoy now.

Do plan and think about the future, but don't emerge yourself in it so much that you forget to live NOW.



4. Find purpose in everything that you do


People want to find that one supreme purpose, for which they were born.

That one big MEANING of their life. That one big thing that they were born to do.

That one grand dream that they are supposed to follow.

I was, and probably in some way still am, one of those people trying to find out WHY OH WHY am I here, and trying to figure out what my supreme mission in the world is.


More and more I realize that life isn't just about one grand mission,

but to find mission and purpose in everything that you do.


People (including me) spend so much time trying to find the purpose of their lives and what they're supposed to be doing, that the time flies by in thoughts, not in action.

It is important to think about these things, however, if you can't get an answer, don't dwell on it too much. Move on. Live your life. Do whatever you're placed to do at this point in time as it is your mission, and find purpose in everything that you do currently.

Find meaning in everything. Then it becomes much more colourful and precious.




5. Take care of yourself before anything


This advice is very important to me and close to my heart,

because I have the tendency to try to do so much, and I don't know how to give myself a break. I prioritize working, playing, experiencing, travelling, writing, and other projects over sleep and rest. I forget to put aside time to take care of my body and mind, and let them completely relax and recover. I would write one more page, than dedicate that 30 minutes to sleeping longer.


Sleep, rest and recovery are very very important.

It is especially true if you want to live to your fullest potential in terms of brain power and physical ability in your awaking hours.


You need to rest, eat well, put good energy source into your body, move your body, practice mindfulness, take care of your skin if it's dry, make adjustments if your body's aching or feeling uneasy. Whatever it is, take good care of yourself, and make it your priority. Take care of your health, energy levels, attitude, mood, and mind so that you can be at your best. When you're at your best, you can best utilize your abilities and do amazing things, achieve great things, and be of wonderful contribution to this world.


Sleep. Rest. Don't abuse your body. Don't abuse yourself.

Don't deprive yourself of enjoyment, nourishing food, R&R, and pleasure.

What's life without them? :)

SLEEP so that you can life fully; not like a zombie.




6. Prioritize better


"I'm too busy to do XXX" or "I don't have time for XXX"

These are POOR excuses.

It means you are a slave of time. Time controls you. You don't have control over time.

It means you don't know how to prioritize, which means you don't know what's more important and/or urgent.


You need to free some time for things that really matter.

Don't be so busy. Be more breezy.




7. Make people FEEL good.


A piece of advice in the field of relationship that I would give to my current self from 10 years later self is this: if you want to be remembered and bring out positive emotions, memories, thoughts whenever people think about you, work on making people FEEL good when they're around you.


People are drawn to people that make them feel good, rather than someone that is impressive. It is much better for everyone involved if you focused on making them feel great about themselves than making a great impression on them about you.





So these are the 7 things I jot down today on the metro ride on what my future self would tell the current me!

I hope you enjoyed it and find it somewhat useful to your life as well :)


Happy Friday!